Pixie Winks

They say the war was terrible. That the rest of the world was destroyed. Our founders built the wall to keep us safe, and they divided us into five groups - factions - to keep the peace.

depressionista:

a true fact about spiders is they can’t run for extended periods of time because they have asthma. all spiders are nerds. even tarantulas. have you ever seen a spider dating a hot babe? i doubt it. spider flashing his cash in the club? nope. spider pulling up beside you at the lights in a lamborghini? never happened. they’ve got so many eyes because they love reading. nerds. all of them.

asammyg:

How fucked up is the entire concept of The Parent Trap? These parents have twins but want a divorce so they decide their best course of action is to just each take one and never speak to each other again. 

proctalgia:

i love when dogs sigh. its like, hey bud, long day at the office?

scottish:

when u say something and it comes out meaner than u intended
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